Beyond the desk...

So Saturday (& all weekend) I started to paint a desk. I kept finding more pieces that needed painting. Here's the room full of oak furniture and the room filled with gray primed furniture.

Things I learned:
1. Painting an entire room (walls) takes half the time of painting a room full of furniture.

2. Cribs should be painted with a sprayer. It's like 18 little rungs just on one side...and painting long, round, thin posts is tedious!

3. Painting objects inside a room should not completely fill the space. One needs room to reach all the parts of the furniture (see #2).

4. Painting is still something I love!

Love,
Carra

Weekend Warrior? Naw, Homemaker

So here I am dressed for renovation. These pants are not the most fashionista of my collection. However, I think they are perfect. I can look down at my pants and see the green of my kitchen, cream of my hallway, white of my cabinets and black of my funiture. It's a fabric record of my projects.

I really hate to ruin clothes. And it seems like I ruin them a lot. Even though I wear "old clothes" to work, an apron to cook and try to be careful....I always seem to drop something on myself. So I figure that one pair of "painting pants" should give me the freedom to renovate with abandon. Ok I actually have two pairs of painting pants. The others used to be yard pants, but now the two are pretty much interchangable.

So why am I all fancy for a Friday night? Because I have a window of time I can make some messes without bugging Pete. What's on the agenda? This desk (and several more pieces) I discovered at the Salvation Army. I'll send along the afters hopefully by Monday. Have a great weekend!

Love, Carra

Confession #31 - The scariest day of my life

It was.  Terrifying.
I sat quietly in the car. No one could tell.
My heart sank, my mind raced.  I was undone.  I realized somehow that all the stuff I had been doing to be pleasing to God was failing.  I was failing at being good enough. And I knew.

I knew at that point.  Just riding in the car.  If we wrecked, if I died, I would go to hell.
I know that may sound a little overdramatic.  But it was my true experience.  I felt the weight of my failures, I knew that though I had convinced everyone else around me, I was dead in my spirit.

So from gripping fear, my emotions went to desperation.  I suddenly didn't care whether people thought I was a nice girl or not.  All I cared about at that moment was that I needed to be at peace with God.  My sin, my choices, my imperfections....all crashed around me and I wanted freedom.

I had lived the "church girl" life, I knew what the Bible said.  I realized that I had gone thought the motions but never surrendered my heart.  Desperate for relief from the weight of conviction.  Desperate for relief from the pretending I was good...it was exhausting to "be good" with my limited human capacity.

So I did what I had heard preachers talk about.
I cried out to Christ.  I prayed, "Save me from my sins.  Forgive me.  Take my fake "good girl" life and make me real."

He did.
The most terrifying day of my life. I feel the feelings even as I share them here with you right now.  But with the huge difference.... I feel the peace.  I feel the love my Jesus my has for me.  I live with the reality of my continued sinfulness - my "junk" if you will.  But within the reality of my junk is the reality of my freedom and His forgiveness. If you've stayed with me throughout the month of confessions, you know I am far from perfect. But instead of trying harder or pretending, I now get to live in gratitude that Christ doesn't hold that against me.

I was reading a friend's blog and she referenced this video.  It is a little urban so the country may not relate to it as much.  But if you can handle it, I think you will find it some good stuff.

Love,
Carra

Confession #30 - Things I want to do by Thanksgiving

Well this is what Better Homes and Gardens suggests as a Thanksgiving Countdown.  I love what a comedian said once.  You know Better Homes and Gardens?  Yeah, than means better than your home, better than your garden!

Well, in the spirit of admitting things, I do read Southern Living.  I asked for a subscription about three years ago for the express purpose of developing myself as a homemaker, hostess and decorator.  This is definitely a place I feel a weakness.  When Pete and I first married, I was somewhat intimidated by my in-laws.  They put tablecloths on tables for weekday lunch, fussed for an hour trying to get the centerpieces just right for a birthday dinner, and added little pieces of parsley to the plates just for the beauty of it.

For a while I just rejected it.  I had the attitude - tastes good, good conversation, isn't that enough?  Well, the truth is --- I rejected all the "frou-frou" because I was not good at it.  I didn't want to try because I feared I would not succeed. But after some honest conversations, honest look at my attitudes, and God teaching me.... I am slowly learning how to do some of this stuff ...and that it has value.

So armed with about 50 sheets torn out of three years of Southern Living magazines, a binder of ideas, notes, budgets, etc. I am getting ready (thank you CB for your Christmas notebook idea that I adjusted for Thanksgiving/Christmas!).

So what do I (the confessing natural mommy) plan for Thanksgiving?  Here are some of my countdown items:

• Cook a local, grass-fed turkey that I put a deposit on at my local farmer's market.
• Paint our den with the Mythic non-toxic paint so it is a brighter place to spend time.
• Cook and freeze sweet potato pies, yeast rolls, muffins and waffles for breakfasts (using natural sugars and organic flour - some of it I will be milling myself)
• Make a batch of homemade turkey sausage based loosely on Heavenly Homemakers recipe (less hot stuff, more sage in mine)
• Scrub the bathtubs with Shaklee Scour Off.  This stuff is awesome, but trust me - the stains are long-standing and will take some serious time and elbow grease. 
• Switch all the kid's bedrooms around.  I know that sounds nuts, but it will be a better fit for us long term and a good thing to have in place before we have guests.
• Make a decorative wall of family photographs...on the cheap.
• Decorate the whole house.  Seriously.  bathrooms, dining room, kitchen, living room, front porch.  Not going to do bedrooms per se, but I know my crafty kids and there will definitely be decor in the bedrooms.

I'm thinking of doing a short series on my Thanksgiving list progress.  I only have 24 days.  Tomorrow I'll be sharing about the scariest day of my life! Boo!

Love, Carra