So Saturday (& all weekend) I started to paint a desk. I kept finding more pieces that needed painting. Here's the room full of oak furniture and the room filled with gray primed furniture.
Things I learned: 1. Painting an entire room (walls) takes half the time of painting a room full of furniture.
2. Cribs should be painted with a sprayer. It's like 18 little rungs just on one side...and painting long, round, thin posts is tedious!
3. Painting objects inside a room should not completely fill the space. One needs room to reach all the parts of the furniture (see #2).
So here I am dressed for renovation. These pants are not the most fashionista of my collection. However, I think they are perfect. I can look down at my pants and see the green of my kitchen, cream of my hallway, white of my cabinets and black of my funiture. It's a fabric record of my projects.
I really hate to ruin clothes. And it seems like I ruin them a lot. Even though I wear "old clothes" to work, an apron to cook and try to be careful....I always seem to drop something on myself. So I figure that one pair of "painting pants" should give me the freedom to renovate with abandon. Ok I actually have two pairs of painting pants. The others used to be yard pants, but now the two are pretty much interchangable.
So why am I all fancy for a Friday night? Because I have a window of time I can make some messes without bugging Pete. What's on the agenda? This desk (and several more pieces) I discovered at the Salvation Army. I'll send along the afters hopefully by Monday. Have a great weekend!
It was. Terrifying.
I sat quietly in the car. No one could tell.
My heart sank, my mind raced. I was undone. I realized somehow that all the stuff I had been doing to be pleasing to God was failing. I was failing at being good enough. And I knew.
I knew at that point. Just riding in the car. If we wrecked, if I died, I would go to hell.
I know that may sound a little overdramatic. But it was my true experience. I felt the weight of my failures, I knew that though I had convinced everyone else around me, I was dead in my spirit.
So from gripping fear, my emotions went to desperation. I suddenly didn't care whether people thought I was a nice girl or not. All I cared about at that moment was that I needed to be at peace with God. My sin, my choices, my imperfections....all crashed around me and I wanted freedom.
I had lived the "church girl" life, I knew what the Bible said. I realized that I had gone thought the motions but never surrendered my heart. Desperate for relief from the weight of conviction. Desperate for relief from the pretending I was good...it was exhausting to "be good" with my limited human capacity.
So I did what I had heard preachers talk about.
I cried out to Christ. I prayed, "Save me from my sins. Forgive me. Take my fake "good girl" life and make me real."
He did.
The most terrifying day of my life. I feel the feelings even as I share them here with you right now. But with the huge difference.... I feel the peace. I feel the love my Jesus my has for me. I live with the reality of my continued sinfulness - my "junk" if you will. But within the reality of my junk is the reality of my freedom and His forgiveness. If you've stayed with me throughout the month of confessions, you know I am far from perfect. But instead of trying harder or pretending, I now get to live in gratitude that Christ doesn't hold that against me.
I was reading a friend's blog and she referenced this video. It is a little urban so the country may not relate to it as much. But if you can handle it, I think you will find it some good stuff.
Well this is what Better Homes and Gardens suggests as a Thanksgiving Countdown. I love what a comedian said once. You know Better Homes and Gardens? Yeah, than means better than your home, better than your garden!
Well, in the spirit of admitting things, I do read Southern Living. I asked for a subscription about three years ago for the express purpose of developing myself as a homemaker, hostess and decorator. This is definitely a place I feel a weakness. When Pete and I first married, I was somewhat intimidated by my in-laws. They put tablecloths on tables for weekday lunch, fussed for an hour trying to get the centerpieces just right for a birthday dinner, and added little pieces of parsley to the plates just for the beauty of it.
For a while I just rejected it. I had the attitude - tastes good, good conversation, isn't that enough? Well, the truth is --- I rejected all the "frou-frou" because I was not good at it. I didn't want to try because I feared I would not succeed. But after some honest conversations, honest look at my attitudes, and God teaching me.... I am slowly learning how to do some of this stuff ...and that it has value.
So armed with about 50 sheets torn out of three years of Southern Living magazines, a binder of ideas, notes, budgets, etc. I am getting ready (thank you CB for your Christmas notebook idea that I adjusted for Thanksgiving/Christmas!).
So what do I (the confessing natural mommy) plan for Thanksgiving? Here are some of my countdown items:
Cook a local, grass-fed turkey that I put a deposit on at my local farmer's market.
Paint our den with the Mythic non-toxic paint so it is a brighter place to spend time.
Cook and freeze sweet potato pies, yeast rolls, muffins and waffles for breakfasts (using natural sugars and organic flour - some of it I will be milling myself)
Make a batch of homemade turkey sausage based loosely on Heavenly Homemakers recipe (less hot stuff, more sage in mine)
Scrub the bathtubs with Shaklee Scour Off. This stuff is awesome, but trust me - the stains are long-standing and will take some serious time and elbow grease.
Switch all the kid's bedrooms around. I know that sounds nuts, but it will be a better fit for us long term and a good thing to have in place before we have guests.
Make a decorative wall of family photographs...on the cheap.
Decorate the whole house. Seriously. bathrooms, dining room, kitchen, living room, front porch. Not going to do bedrooms per se, but I know my crafty kids and there will definitely be decor in the bedrooms.
I'm thinking of doing a short series on my Thanksgiving list progress. I only have 24 days. Tomorrow I'll be sharing about the scariest day of my life! Boo!
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