Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Been pondering...

I have been pondering lately....

I shared a few weeks ago about my Mawmaw who has a very aggressive cancer. The cancer is essentially stealing her body. But she also has Alzheimer's which is stealing her mind. I was taking a walk this morning and pondering the harshness of that. I think about what life "should be" like - no miscarriages, no cancer and certainly no Alzheimer's disease. This is no Eden.

And I ponder the "way a man is with a maid" and the look of my children playing in joyous exuberance of a muddy ditch and the closeness I feel of God's presence when I sit still on a chilly, sunny day. This is a little taste of Eden.

This is my Mawmaw with me. She doesn't know who I am and sometimes she thinks my daughters are sons. She longs for home where her mama is. She's a great-grandmother and truly the Proverbs 31 matriarch of the family. But inside she's still a girl that misses her husband and her little children and her mama and daddy.

Since she is no longer cooking or cleaning, my mom and her siblings are beginning to try to clear out some of the accumulated household articles. There are a boatload of grand kids but only a few of us really gravitate toward the "old" stuff. I'm grateful that this big blue porcelain coated pot was among the items available. Every time I use this pot, I think of Mawmaw. That day I was heating up my jars to can some chicken and broth. ...reminding me to pursue excellence in my calling to be a Proverbs 31 woman.



Lisa said...

Oh, Carra. This post made me cry! Life can be so cruel, and I long for the day when we will be with Jesus where there is no more sickness, disease, or suffering.

How heart-wrenching to watch your grandmother deteriorate. I'm so sorry! But I know you will cherish the good memories of her in your heart.

Thank you for sharing these tender things from your heart.


Lisa said...

p.s. Love your blog's new look!